I have been living overseas in Canada since 2016 and I have taken many trips on my own. It wasnโt always that way though. Growing up I was constantly bullied about the way I looked so I had very little self-confidence for decades. But as soon as I was old enough to travel short distances by myself I started going to concerts and taking day trips to London from Essex simply because my desire to see certain artists took over.
But solo traveling? I thought that it was only for thin, pretty women like the ones I saw in magazines, on TV, in films, and on social media. To this day it is pretty rare to see any women over a US 6 or 8 working with brands. It was a constant neon sign that travelling was only for slim women who society deemed to be most attractive.
As someone who has been plus-size most of her life, it left me with a deep-rooted belief that I still struggle with to this day; big girls donโt and canโt travel โ and certainly not on their own. Combined with my very low self-esteem it meant I didnโt do much traveling till my 30โs.
So I know firsthand just how crippling a lack of self-confidence and feeling scared can be. It will stop you from doing everything that you want to do if you let it. Your insecurities, fears, and nerves about traveling? It will never totally go away but you can overcome them. The trick is to take baby steps consistently to work up to it. In this post, Iโm sharing all of the things that have helped me to build my confidence and travel alone.
How I Started Traveling Alone
I didnโt travel much, let alone by myself, until my mid-30s.
The turning point for me was after my parents died. I lost both of them within about 3 and a half months of each other, followed by my grandpa. I had lived with them for most of my life, and they had kept me very close to home. But after those losses, all I wanted to do was leave the country. My desire to leave England and start fresh somewhere new slowly started to outweigh my insecurities and fears.
In 2015, on a vacation in Vancouver, Canada the friend I was traveling with unexpectedly left a couple of days into the trip. It left me with two choices; change my flight or stay there on my own. With some encouragement from friends at home I chose to stay. I was applying for Canadian permanent residency so I figured I might be living there by myself soon anyway. By the end of the vacation, I was hooked on solo travel. As soon as I got back to the UK I was making plans for my next adventure in Canada.
Since then, I have been living in Vancouver by myself for years, and I have taken many trips on my own. The fears and nerves of traveling solo never completely go away, but the rewards are always worth it. As someone who struggles with many insecurities, and still has to talk herself up before any solo travel, I understand how daunting it can be to travel by yourself. So Iโve filled this guide with lots of practical tips and ideas to help you build the courage and confidence to travel based on my personal experiences.
Turn your uncertainty and fears into excitement and enthusiasm!
Take Baby Steps First
Embarking on your first solo adventure can be daunting, especially if you are not used to doing things on your own. So the best thing you can do is just to get used to being alone. Be intentional about how you spend your time by regularly being by yourself. If you are usually always with friends or family, it will be challenging at first, but you can grow to enjoy it.
Here are a few simple things to do to get started:
- Spend a night or two with just yourself for company every week.
- Check out a store, cafe, or local place on your own that you’ve been wanting to see.
- Sign up for a tour or event in your area. A guided group tour is a good option to meet other solo travelers.
- Go to a local concert or attraction that you want to go to.
- Choose places in your home country for your first solo adventures before taking any international trips.
- Play tourist for the day on your own in your local area.
- Take a day trip to somewhere a short distance away on your own.
- Opt to use local transit rather than drive everywhere. It will be a game-changer in building your confidence to travel solo when you become comfortable taking buses and trains.
- Stick with places that speak the same language as you for your first solo travels.
- Research group tours that you could go on for your first trip far away on your own.
Get Comfortable Eating Out Alone
If you want to get the courage and confidence to travel solo, you will need to overcome your fears about eating in public, and going out on your own.
I used to hate dining by myself. It was something I always felt anxious and self-conscious about, especially when I walked into a cafe, pub, or restaurant and saw lots of couples or large groups.
Having all your meals in your hotel room will not be fun, so it’s time to embrace solo dining. Start small with coffee and cake, or breakfast in a local cafe. Find local eateries online that are solo traveler friendly, try out food trucks, or explore your local neighborhood and choose venues that have at least one or two people sitting alone in them. Opt for off-peak hours, face away from crowds, and sit at the bar when that’s an option. You can also take a book, journal, or device to distract you from worrying about anyone around you.
By starting small, it will be far less intimidating, and you can then work your way up to going for lunch or dinner.
Take Yourself Out On Solo Dates
Solo dates are a great way to show yourself some self-love and build up your self-confidence. You will get more comfortable with being out in public by yourself. Here are some of my favorite solo date activities:
Go To The Movies
Enjoy the freedom of watching a film of your choice, without the need for consensus. Grab a drink, and a box of popcorn, and get comfy. Bonus points if you treat yourself to the VIP option at the cinema.
Go To A Concert Or Theatre Show
Besides traveling, going to concerts is my favorite activity. If you love live music or theatre shows but the thought of going to an arena or large theatre production terrifies you just start with a show at smaller venues. Regardless of whether you go to a big-scale event or a tiny dive bar, youโll find that there will be other music or theatre lovers there by themselves.
Go To A Cocktail Bar
Get dressed up, choose an up-scale cocktail bar, and enjoy a fancy cocktail or mocktail. Wear something that you feel good in so that you will feel a bit less self-conscious. Then either sit at the bar or pick a small table facing away from crowds if you feel intimated. A good place to try is a bar in a nice hotel where there might be hotel guests on their own.
Go For Dinner
Take yourself out to dinner. Choose a more casual low-key spot or somewhere with live music for your first solo dinner date. You can also search Google for recommendations of great restaurants for solo diners.
Hotel restaurants are a good option for a more upscale dinner as the likelihood of seeing other diners eating alone will be higher.
Check Out Local Cafe’s
Enjoy a book or people-watch over a nice cup of coffee or tea, and a delicious pastry or slice of cake. It’s an inexpensive, and less intimidating way to get used to drinking and eating out on your own.
Go For Brunch Or Lunch
One of my favorite ways to treat myself is to go out for brunch or lunch at some place I’ve never been before. Research, and make a list of solo traveler-friendly cafes, pubs, and restaurants in your area that are top-rated for breakfast and lunch.
Explore Locally First
This is your reminder that you don’t have to travel far away to have adventures. Additionally, you don’t have to spend lots of money either.
There is a certain charm and comfort in the familiarity of exploring places that are close by. If you are like me, you may be forgetting to get out and experience all the great things on offer in your local area.
Visit Local Attractions
Rediscover your city with a fresh perspective. Visit a museum, art gallery, or popular tourist attraction, or get outside in nature on your own, and enjoy places that you would usually overlook.
Go To Local Events
From farmer’s markets and craft fairs to exhibitions, festivals, and baseball games, going to local events can be an easy way to get out on your own. If the thought of going to an event by yourself scares you, start with something really small like a street or farmers market.
Staycations
Staycations mimic the travel experience without the distance. Here’s some tips to make it special:
- Budget: Treat it like a real vacation with a budget.
- Theme: Choose a theme for your staycation – spa weekend, culinary exploration, or cultural immersion.
- Local Accommodations: Research unique local stays to amplify the experienceโ
Take Day Trips
Drive to a nearby town, take transit someplace new, go to the beach explore a local nature trail. Taking smaller trips for just a few hours will make you feel more confident while navigating new environments, and there are no rules. Just do whatever you fancy doing, and work up to bigger adventures.
If you’d prefer to have your travel and activities decided for you, take a look at organized day trips and group tours that you could take in your local area.
Create A Travel Bucket List
Compile a list of places you’d love to visit alone. This list serves as a motivator and a reminder of why you’re embarking on this journey.
Create a vision board full of pictures of your dream destinations, and quotes to inspire you and put it on the wall or a mobile device where you will see it every day.
This is your permission to dream big!
Work On Your Confidence Everyday
Looking and feeling your best is important for your emotional and mental health. It will also help you to build up the courage to do some solo traveling. So increase your self-care with face masks, hair masks, pretty nails, face and body scrubs, long baths, regular exercise, and healthy eating. Do at least one or two self-care practices weekly that make you feel good.
Go through your wardrobe and get rid of any clothes that donโt make you feel good. You can also go through your clothes and put together some go-to outfits that you feel great in for all your solo activities.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel most like yourself, and bring out the best in you. Avoid anyone who makes you feel unattractive or negativeโฆthat includes family and close friends if they make you think you are less than.
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Just like your insecurities and fears, your mental health can easily become debilitating. Your mindset is more important than you may realize. What you think about affects every aspect of your life subconsciously. So if you want to start travelling on your own you will need to work on it every day.
Here are a few things to focus on:
Think About Positive Outcomes
Rather than constantly think about everything that could go wrong on your solo adventures, concentrate on all the amazing experiences you could have by stepping out of your comfort zone.
Expect everything to go well, and plan accordingly. It will help you to follow through on travel plans when loved ones are sharing their negative thoughts and feelings with you about solo traveling.
Whenever you are feeling scared, positive thinking will have you pushing past your fear in no time. You’ve got this!
Confront Your Fears Directly
Speaking of fears, one of the best things I ever did when I first started traveling solo was to list out my fears. So take a few minutes to write out all of your fears about solo travel. Then for each fear that you have, brainstorm some practical strategies to deal with each one on the fly whenever they crop up.
For example, if you feel scared about getting on a plane, doing an activity, or exploring a new place, what could you do to push past it? Things like singing to yourself, tapping, positive self-talk, and breathing exercises could all be go-to’s when fear is getting the best of you,
Also, come up with some contingencies for if things don’t go to plan, and some basic safety measures like always sharing your location with loved ones to make you feel safer about traveling alone.
Practice Patience with Yourself
It will take time to build yourself up to a point where you are ready to travel on your own and thatโs ok. Be patient with yourself, and donโt try to do too much too fast. Letting fear get the best of you one time, or having a difficult experience will easily stop you from solo traveling if you let it.
Thatโs why itโs so important that you just take small steps at your own pace, and practice patience.
Learn Basic Travel Skills
Practice basic skills you will need for solo traveling daily to increase your confidence about traveling alone successfully.
Here are a few ways to become more comfortable traveling alone:
Master Map Reading
Reading a map was something I was always pretty rubbish at until I started intentionally using maps regularly to get around. If getting lost on your own is one of your solo travel fears, improving your map reading skills will give you a lot of reassurance. It will also help you significantly when you travel to new places.
Take Public Transit Regularly
Just like map reading, getting comfortable taking public transportation will be a game changer for your solo travels. You will likely need to take a lot of buses and trains on your own after all so you will have to get confident on your local transit system as a starting point if you are not already.
Learn Basic Phrases In Different Languages
If you are planning to travel internationally where the local people don’t speak your native language, you will feel more confident if you can communicate at a basic level. So learn some simple phrases in the local languages of places you are interested in.
it’s ok if you can’t pronounce everything exactly, just have a basic understanding. I’ve also found that generally, locals will just appreciate you trying to speak their language and be more open to assisting if you don’t just assume they will speak English.
I learned a few Italian phrases for a solo stay in Italy and it made me feel much more confident on my travels.
Join Supportive Communities For Solo Travellers
Engage with online forums, join Facebook groups for solo female travelers, and comment on social posts about events you want to go to. The shared experiences and tips are invaluable, and they will help you to get the confidence to travel alone. It will also help you to make some new friends who you could meet up with when you are traveling. I commented on a Calgary Stampede TikTok post once and now have 17 fabulous girls to meet up with whenever Iโm at Stampede.
Learn To Drown Out The Noise
Your friends and family will all have their own opinions about you wanting to travel alone, If they have never traveled overseas, or have fears of their own about traveling, they will share all of their negative thoughts with you.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to stay focused on your dreams, goals, and why you have a strong desire to travel solo. If you listen to everyone’s skepticism it will deter you, and amplify your fears.
Be Well Researched
It’s natural to get stuck on all of the “what ifs” of traveling on your own: What if I find myself in danger? What if I get lost? Get homesick, Get robbed, Run out of money, Or lose my passport? What if my accommodation is a disaster and I have to find somewhere else to stay?
You could spend hours thinking about all the what-ifs of going somewhere by yourself, especially if you are an anxious person (me too!). You can’t live a life of regrets though because you let fear of the unknown stop you from doing something you wanted to do.
So the best thing you can do is some research. Read personal stories on travel blogs, reviews, and recommendations on travel sites like Expedia, posts on social media by solo travelers, Reddit threads, Facebook Groups, travel programs, and travel books. It will help alleviate your anxiety and make you more excited about going.
Understanding your destination is key. Doing thorough research will not only alleviate your fears but will also help you enjoy your travels more.
Solo Traveler Accommodation
When you are looking for accommodation for your solo trips, look for places that have positive reviews by solo travelers. Some travel websites will also allow you to filter out places that are popular with solo travelers to help you find the best options.
Also, remember to just double-check that the accommodation you like the look of is in a safe area rather than somewhere you should avoid. Sometimes cheap accommodations can be in really sketchy areas so just make sure you gather lots of info about which areas of a destination are safest and which you should avoid. It can be a bit time-consuming if itโs not immediately obvious but so worth it!
Solo Travel Budgets
The one thing that many solo travelers do not talk about much is that when you travel alone, you regularly pay a single-person tax.
For instance, if you want to go on any kind of cruise by yourself unless you get really lucky, you will pay a single-person supplement which will double the cost of the cruise. Most accommodations will also charge a room rate based on 2 people sharing, so you will pay double everywhere you go.
You’ll have no one to split costs with, or help you out on the go if you run out of money so save more money than you think you’ll need. This is where setting a budget will help you, and ease any fears you may have about traveling solo
Safety and comfort are paramount. Look for accommodations that are friendly to solo female travelers and offer a secure environment.
Become A Confident Solo Traveler
Going on adventures on your own is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. It isn’t just about discovering new places. As cheesy as it sounds it’s also about discovering things about yourself.
I firmly believe that nothing will build your self-confidence and empower you in the same way as solo traveling will. As you go to places by yourself you will become more confident and courageous in every facet of your life – not just while traveling.
You will get scared and nervous, especially the first time you travel far from home. But I hope that all the tips I’ve shared with you will help you build the courage and confidence to travel.
Are you thinking about taking a solo trip? Have you traveled by yourself before but still get scared and anxious about going anywhere else? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
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Gemma Lawrence is the creator of This Brits Life. Born and raised in England, she has been living in British Columbia, Canada as a permanent resident since 2016. A solo traveler for the past 9 years, she hopes to inspire and help others to enjoy solo adventures too. As someone who has always struggled with her self-confidence and mental health, she also shares tips and inspirational stories relating to self-love, self-care, and mental health.
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